A while ago my Mom and I sat down in Panera Bread, our steaming cups of decaf coffee keeping our hands warm. Roasting next to the fire, we talked and laughed and cried about all matters of the heart. Well, my heart that is. It's a tricky thing to deal with, the heart: that thing that wants to love, deceive, bless...
But not only does it do this, it also asks big, lurking questions about all things. Specifically about my faith.
Am I truly saved? I'm such a sinner, how dare I ask for God's mercy? If everything we do is supposed to glorify Him, than why spend times on other things? On things like entertainment or education that take away our time from the Lord? Is it good to question my faith?
All I can cry out is "Save me, oh Lord!" And I have no others words.
A months ago, my family was standing in a circle holding hands and praying, and a certain thought started to bother me: If we should be focusing on eternal things, then why do we have "things" in the first place? If we truly focus on these eternal goals, then why spend time other things? Like I said up there, on things that take us away from our personal time with God?
But no matter how many questions I ask myself, my mother, my father...only truly God can answer these questions.
Some people accuse this of being too simplistic. But you see, that's part of the beauty. That doesn't mean we are not accountable for our sins or what we do, but that does mean that we don't have to worry. We don't have to worry about who we're marrying, or what we are doing with our education. This doesn't mean we don't prepare, wait, watch, and pray...but we don't worry.
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